i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
