8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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