Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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