Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
