i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
