ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
