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I want to walk on stilts...naked
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
