No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
