Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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