I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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