Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
