Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
