It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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