You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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