totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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