I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The struggles of a small town man whore
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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