if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
