i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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