one two three fourrrrnication!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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