But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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