Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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