NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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