I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You ate ashes out of my bong
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
