So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
