i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
