If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
