my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
