her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
