my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
