I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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