hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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