If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
