I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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