school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
