glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
