To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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