im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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