Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
