I wish I only lived at night.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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