Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
