he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
