I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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