i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
