i think i have herpe
just one?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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