Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Im part way to drunk.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
