Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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