didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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