so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
