Cold hands, warm shart.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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