is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
